Indecent Exposure

Since when can't a girl pull down her jeans in a parking lot and show her best friend her new cute panties? Really, doesn't Oakland Police have some "real" criminals to look for. And why did i have to be lectured in front of my home after they followed me from the parking lot? I swear I should have asked them if they liked the view, except my panties are too cute to sit in a holding cell.

Happy Hour...

Comfort comes in different shapes and sizes. As I walk in I see all the eager faces. There are the ones barking for my attention and the others drooling with excitement. And then there are the more shy and reserve who I catch glancing at me out of the corner of their eyes.

As I take a sip of my drink, it is Cisco who catches my eye. I am immediately attracted to his disinterested stare and his beautiful two-toned eyes. He is gorgeous in that unconventional sort of way; perfect in his imperfections. There is the obvious scar on the side of his nose and his expressive thick eyebrows. He is flirting with me from across the room. His eyes beckoning me to walk over to him. I do.

As I get closer, he sits up. He is bigger and huskier than I had originally thought. I notice the touches of gray that hint of his life experience. He smiles sweetly and I feel my heart in my chest. Today, he is the one. I am impatient waiting to leave. I want him all to myself, to feel him close, so close I feel his breath against my face.

I wait for him outside. As he approaches me, I notice the confidence in his gait and the huge grin on his face. I can’t help but smile, giving away my own excitement. We begin to walk in silence and enter the park. Upon the sound of the latch closing on the gate, we speak for the first time. I ask Cisco if he wants to play and he lets out this huge bark. We both move hurriedly with anticipation through the park, also known to me as my sanctuary.

This is where I can be found during those bad days in which I just want to feel good, even if it’s just for a short while. I am never quite sure who I will choose to spend my time with. Sometimes it’s the big older guys, sometimes it’s the youngsters with no manners and sometimes the lady in the uniform behind the counter will introduce me to my new best friend for the day. I can’t help but to have a smile on my face whenever I come here.

Today it’s Cisco with his long black coat and shepherd features. We take to one another immediately and for a moment I wonder if I could just take him home and make it work. I remember I can’t with my long hours at work and the other hours taken over by performing. We will have to just meet here.

His endurance is incredible and the way his body moves is amazing. He is quiet with the exception of his panting. His tongue grows longer as minutes turn to hours. He finally finishes, laying down next to his toy just far enough away I can’t reach. I sit down and he quickly runs over and lays his head in my lap. It’s time to say goodbye.

We walk back into the building as the lady asks me how he was. Out of breath, I answer, “amazing.” I can’t help but fall in love a little. I say goodbye to Cisco as she asks me if I will be back next week. I remind her it’s the holidays, so I will be here more often. This place always cheers me up.

I know that one day I will get a dog, but for now there is always the Oakland Animal Shelter.

Oaksterdam U!

Okay, I know I was half awake when I heard the ad… Oaksterdam University. Yes, that’s right, my hometown now offers the finest in higher education in the form of Oaksterdam University.

Last night in my dream like state I started to think about the curriculum they would offer. I would assume the basic general education: math, economics, science, history, etc. But this was such a creative opportunity for a school with a common theme of cannabis.

I started to think about the actual classes:

Art 140: Depictions of cannabis in film: from Reefer Madness to Pineapple Express

Art 160: Fashion: From Tie-Dye to Marley Shirts

Art 180: The death of Lasarium

Business 101: Selling by the dime or selling by the pound

History 101: Were cavemen smoking dude?

Legal Studies 101: Stay away from Nevada

Math 101: How many 8ths in a QP?

Macroeconomics 110: The effects of cannabis on world markets

Microeconomics 101: Oreo’s or gummy worms?

Music 103: The impact of cannabis on rock and roll: What else would explain Little Richard?

Philosophy 160: Bong, joint, pipe, or vaporizer?

Political Science 103: Bill inhaled: the political impact of cannabis use

Political Science 178: Towlie: Wanna get high?

Psychology 110: The art of manipulating munchies

Psychology 120: Paranoia: yes, they’re tapping your phone and here’s why

Psychology 200: Things to think about to curb inappropriately timed giggles

Science 105: Things you can safely blow up in your microwave

Science 110: Weed, Keef or Hash, what gets you higher?

Science 120: Why can’t I remember where I left the keys?

Science 200: Saliva Production

Sociology 101: Deadheads vs. Phish fans