Thinking like a slut

So I recently received an email in which my suitor let me know that he likes a girl that thinks "slutty". I think on first reading this, I had that knee-jerk reaction of reading it as him calling me slutty. But apparently I wasn't actually being accused of being slutty, just thinking that way. I found myself feeling perplexed by this, afterall what was it about my profile and writing that would lead this dude to write that I “think slutty”?

Slutty is such a loaded term inherent with lots of judgment. So, I am actually struggling to see slutty as a compliment. I also began to wonder what it actually means to think slutty. Does it have to do with the amount of times someone thinks about sex? According to the Kinsey Institute as well as every man I know, a guy thinks about sex just about every 2 minutes. Does it seem that I think about sex more than the average male and that defines slutty? Using that logic than why don’t we hear of more men being told they think slutty? This is one of those great double standards. It’s not only considered “normal” for a guy to think about sex, but it’s just as normal if he thinks about it even more often than every 2 minutes. But somehow if a woman is thinking about sex every 2 minutes, she thinks slutty? Or was there something about my profile that would suggest I think about sex more often and that somehow I have crossed the line into the realm of “thinking slutty?” While I do think about sex, I would say that I probably think about it far less than the average male. Certainly if I am getting ready for a rendez-vous, I am thinking about sex every second as I get ready, but while at work, not so much. Realistically, I work in a pretty gnarly neighborhood and usually have to walk over passed-out people with their bagged bottles still in their hand on the way to work. So not much eye candy. I am thinking that defining thinking slutty by time, I wouldn’t qualify.

Or perhaps it’s because I have written about about casual encounters, so therefore I have slutty thoughts. This hypothesis is more difficult for me to understand. So writing about “casual encounters” and looking for that type of companionship must mean that I think slutty? Is wanting to meet someone for the sole purpose of sex, thinking slutty? Or is this perhaps one of those little double standard situations? It’s not often we hear of a guy being accused of thinking slutty because he is going to go meet a woman for the specific purpose of fornication. Frankly I am happy when any of my friends have that going for them. Good for them… they are about to get laid. Slutty doesn’t seem appropriate as a descriptive term for what they are thinking and what is about to happen. And realistically, all I have to show for my “thinking slutty” is a blog.

Is the mere fact that I actually have had a casual encounter enough to qualify as thinking slutty? Or is there another threshold I am not aware of? I felt compelled to look up the word “slut” and actually found that it literally means “a woman considered sexually promiscuous.” Hmmm… so that explains why we don’t hear about men being called sluts. But it doesn’t help me to understand why dude thinks that telling me I think slutty is somehow a compliment.