Ye Olde Hut

I have decided that the only thing that is predictable about the Hut is its unpredictability. Although it seems predictable that I have now gone to this bar a total of 4 times and each time a perfect track record for attracting crazy. But what is unpredictable is who else seems to be at this place. I had originally wrote about the Hut in a blog about Carmen. It took me a while to go back to the Hut, since my meeting with her included an ambulance and a temporary leave from Johnny Cash. When I finally returned to the Hut with a bunch of friends as well as my younger bro and his wife close to a year later, I was again finding myself face-to-face with crazy. That night would be remembered by the presence of Hung. Hung was exceptionally drunk and would not leave our table alone until I told him he really needed to go.

Last night, thinking I would run into nobody I knew I decided to meet a blind date at the Hut. Seriously, I had quizzed several friends for a bar recommendation that included the caveat that the bar needed to be frequented by no one I knew, have no cover and have more then beer. As I approached the bar to order a drink, I realized I knew many of the patrons crowded around the bar. Hoping they wouldn’t notice, I order my usual, Maker’s neat. The unknown men sitting against the bar loudly commented only drawing attention to my drink and me as well as the attention of the acquaintances I knew from my local coffee hangout. After getting my whiskey a space at the end of the bar opened up and I sat myself down awaiting my date. He arrived and sat himself besides me and we began that long arduous process of getting to know each other, otherwise known to me as the “interview”. Within moments an older bearded man dressed in a sailor suit sat within centimeters of my date. Any closer, he would have been in my date’s lap. I must have been staring as I watched him sidle up to my date as close as possible. I was waiting for my date to say something, but instead the guy yelled across my date, “can I buy you a drink?” I said no thanks and asked him if he normally sat that close to people. I felt uncomfortable for my date who seemed to lack the ability to mark his own space. The drunk dude looked at the guy next to me and didn’t seem to care that he was nearly sharing a barstool. He then stated, “no one wants to sit near me because I am drunk”. To which I responded, “well no one likes a super drunk dude”. My date shot me a glance as if to say, “I can’t believe you just said that”. Thankfully the drunk dude went away.

Shortly after, a biker I knew from coffee shop walked up to me and blew in my ear. I just giggled, knowing I could care less what the date thought, since it was not as if I would see him again. If he hadn’t cock blocked me, I would have cock blocked myself anyhow. I finally told my date I needed to go and also let him know I wanted to wish him the best of luck. I didn’t feel a connection.

Tonight it was another homeless drunk dude. This time I was with my best friend, Monkeyman. Monkeyman not only encourages my sassy behavior, but has come to expect it,. He was well aware of my previous experiences at the Hut and we both had pondered whether my crazy magnetism would be in effect tonight. True to form, a homeless guy entered the bar dressed in an oversized down coat and immediately bee-lined towards me. Frankly, I hadn’t really even noticed him enter the bar, my attention toward Monkeyman as we chatted away. The homeless guy first asked if we had any spare change to which we answered, we had none. He then mentioned that we could buy him food. To which we said no thanks. He looked at us both as if to say, why aren’t you giving me anything. We waited for him to go away and then giggled to one another over my perfect track record. But the evening wasn’t over. He returned. This time with a patron of the bar.

I watched as the man who originally asked us for spare change was now offering it to the patron to feed the pool table. The homeless guy then began to accuse Monkeyman of talking. In reality Monkeyman and I were simply watching this guy dig through his pockets for change. Monkeyman responded that he had said nothing, to which the homeless guy said if you don’t make a move on her, as he pointed to me, than he would. I then chimed in, “do I have a say in this?” To which he responded, “no”. He then returned to his game as Monkeyman and I shared a laugh. Monkeyman and I decided it was time to go as the homeless guy reminded us that he had 3 more minutes to make a move on me before he would step in. I giggled as I said, “is that so?” Rather than anticipate what the homeless guy was going to do, we chose to down our shots instead and make our way to the next drinking hole. It may be another long while before I go to the Hut again.