A Prayer for the Accused...

I prayer every day you get to hear the sound of locking metal gates and cold cement under your feet.
That the steel against your wrists feels stiff and tight and the warmth of the breath in your ear brings terror instead of delight.
The laughter that echoes is never your own.
And the mattress under your tired body, brings torment instead of comfort.

I pray when you wake from the sound of screaming you realize the voice is your own.
And that the emptiness you feel inside is from your starvation and hunger.
The salty taste in your mouth is your tears, your blood and your sweat.
And the pillow against your mouth creates panic as you try to catch a breath.

I pray you cease to recognize your own face and that every day as you look in the mirror, every scar reminds you of horror and fear.
I pray you feel no relief, no trust and no refuge. You never have a moment to close your eyes and escape.

I pray that the wind in your hair steals your breath as you begin to run. And that as you run, your body stings. And that while you ache, you know you have to keep on running.

I pray that you share no kindred faces only glances of pity as you silently pray that no one knows. That you feel transparent and vulnerable wherever you go.

I pray that time marches slowly as years turn into decades. That you feel a chill when it’s warm and sweat in the cold. That the stiffness in your joints grows worse and the surgeries never cease.

I pray that as you hear the sound of my voice you know you didn’t win.
I pray you know now the fighter I am. The strength of my words and the power of what’s now healed. That you know that there are no looks and no words that could break me as you try. And you keep trying.

I pray you hear the sound of my voice as the gate slams shut. The echo of my laughter and the sour taste of your sin forever be with you.