Cluster Fucked

Why is it that whenever you need something fixed that you end up in this cluster fuck between two companies? It's like when you were a kid and something broke and suddenly everyone in the room is declaring "i didn't do it". I have been up since 1 am and coffee isn't cutting it. And now, just waiting for the phone guy. Since when did a window become anytime between 9 am until 9 pm? At what point is it called an open-door? Of course, when i asked At&t this, they just didn't think that was funny.

My favorite conversation today happened at 3 am with ADT alarm service. As my alarm was blaring and i was desperately attempting to sound coherent over the phone, i come to learn from ADT that due to my phone being out for over a week, i also had no alarm. So I ask them, what is the point of paying them to monitor my system, if i had to call and tell them the system is not working. Shouldn't they pay me? It seems that i am doing a much better job monitoring my system than they are. So they tell me i am paying for monitoring, but that they can't monitor when the system is down. Logically i ask them, "isn't it their responsibility to monitor when the system is down and then let me know rather than the other way around"? They answer yes, but only when they do their once a month monitoring check. So i say, "let me get this straight. If i were to burglarize someone's home, i just need to cut their phone off, since you people wouldn't be aware of this for another month. And that is what you call monitoring?"I was beginning to feel that ADT was not quite grasping the definition of monitoring.

Maybe the lack of sleep has impacted my ability to comprehend the definition of monitoring something, but i was always under the impression that it meant something other than a once a month check. I offered to read the definition out of the dictionary. I even offered ADT a solution to this unfortunate misrepresentation of monitoring; they could call it "occasional monitoring" or "sporadic monitoring" or "once-a-month monitoring". I told ADT if they wanted to pay me, I could come up with all kinds of new slogans for them since i just missed a day of work, i could now use the income. "ADT, we're here if you call and let us know" or "ADT we've got your back on the first Monday of the Month" or "ADT, stopping crime one hour out of the month".

So after being transferred to the supervisor's supervisor, my system should be fixed sometime between now and 9 pm. They are even adding some new features such as a monitoring system that monitors the monitoring system. I am just happy i have a baseball bat and a knife. The last time i used the bat, prior to getting the alarm, it monitored my house much better than ADT ever has. I am sure that my burglar will never be able to grip his own nuts after the bashing i did to his hands through my door. Perhaps that should be the slogan and free gift with every system they sell, "ADT and Louisiana Slugger, keeping your home safe all year long".